Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
