There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
