youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
my liver is dry heaving
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
