Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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