So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
PANTIES FOUND
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