the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
