I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize