I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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