This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
