i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
