I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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