Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
