I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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