When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
