maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
