I wish I could teleport
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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