the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
