yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
