p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
