Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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