she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
