At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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