you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
