What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
