She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
