I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
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I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
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it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....