I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
