What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Randomize
