lets start a swedish sibling band together
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
