Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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