she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
