Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
