Its about making memories worth repressing
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
