Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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