The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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