You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
