i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
