peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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