weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
