Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
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