What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
