you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
sarcasm needs its own font
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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