I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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