remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
