shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
