i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
