I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
