Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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