I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
