Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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