Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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