Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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