The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize