her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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