So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
No...this little piggys going to the bar
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
