i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling