just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
