is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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