New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
