I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm bleeding and have questions
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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