i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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