A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize