so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
