Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
