She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
