i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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