we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
